i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize