he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
