And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize