this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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