Porn is love you can see.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
