what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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