ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
