i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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