so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
