As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize