so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
