He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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