wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
