you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
