I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize