At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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