you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
