That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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