I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
