You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
