OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
sex in a hospital.. check
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
