I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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