We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think my vagina is haunted
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
