I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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