she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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