she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I want a musical about memes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize