her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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