She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
