He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
