You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
