Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
