This girl is more easily done than said...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize