Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
