Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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