I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
