it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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