He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
