so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry about my life...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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