you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
