I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize