Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
