Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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