and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
