Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
