I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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