remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
