I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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