just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
