I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
