My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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