I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
