I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Randomize
