so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
