You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
