so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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