You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
