walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
