Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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