If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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