I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
