My first STD was from a foam party
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
