I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
